She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
