Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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