I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
this must be what syphilis tastes like
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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