I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
