he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
