Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I am naked and annoyed.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
