When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
porn star boner night. come get it.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
