hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
