You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
