He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Drunk is a universal language darling
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
