But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
