she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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