Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
