so that wasnt chicken after all
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
God, I missed his penis.
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