do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
