Sry I called you an 8
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
