A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
