I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
