Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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