My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
