either way he was missing a nipple.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
