Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Randomize
