i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
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