And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
