I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
this beer tastes like vomit already
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
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