its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
