I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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