the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
