My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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