Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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