therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
