new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
