Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
