Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
