covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
