Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize