Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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