dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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