I love black thongs
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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