i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
