Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
