I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
