Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
