I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
