maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
