Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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