i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
