When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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