I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
