I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize