no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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