Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize