at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
