my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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