spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
