You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
