shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
