I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize